I recently read an article that discussed whether period sex is okay for a first-time hookup or not. The article asked both men and women, but was honestly kind of confusing. There was no real conclusion, the author just collected people’s opinions. I guess it was an interesting read, but with a subject that’s considered so ‘taboo’, people are probably seeking some clarification. So, I’m here to give it to you: As long as it’s consensual, I think anything is okay for a first-time hookup.
When people discuss dos and don’ts in terms of first dates or sexual encounters, the focus is almost always on what women shouldn’t be doing. Honestly? I think it’s all bullsh*t. These ‘rules’ are just created to shame us. There is no right way to have a first date or encounter with somebody. To answer the original question–Yes, it’s okay to have period sex during a first-time hookup. It’s okay to have period sex during any hook up; whether it’s on a one-night stand, with your long-term partner, or even if you’re masturbating. Period sex is something I think more people should try (if they want to). I am 100% a period sex fanatic and a lot of people actually ask me questions about it. I think it’s something people do want to try, but are afraid to. It’s still treated as this messy, shameful, ‘gross’ thing when it’s anything but.
“If your partner makes it into a whole ordeal and tells you it’s disgusting or unhygienic, maybe sleep with an actual adult instead.”
Period sex is, however. something that can sometimes require some navigating–so I’m here to guide you!
Whether it’s a one-time thing, a regular hook-up, or a partner, talk about it
The most important thing in any sexual encounter is without a doubt consent. Before you try anything new in the bedroom, it’s important to make sure everyone is on board. No matter how small the act may seem, talk to your partner(s) about it first. Find out what they like, if there’s anything they want to try, if there are things they wish to avoid and so on. In terms of period sex, it’s just as simple as bringing it up and seeing what their reaction is. Not all objections will be sexist by the way, some people just don’t like blood in general. I once slept with a dude who was freaked out by his own blood. If your partner makes it into a whole ordeal and tells you it’s disgusting or unhygienic, maybe sleep with an actual adult instead. There’s a difference between personal preference and entertaining a harmful stigma.
Think about when you’d prefer to discuss it
Of course, it’s not always as simple as just talking about it. How do you tell your one night stand what you want to do XYZ with them? I think before you decide to have a conversation about period sex with whoever you’re sleeping with, think about how you want to approach the subject first. Would you rather know before your period arrives? Want to see what they say in the moment? After all, periods can be unpredictable. I’ve had a range of experiences at different points that all luckily went well even if the outcome wasn’t always what I wanted. The most memorable one was with my current partner; we were in the middle of making the transition from making out to foreplay and my period arrived. He said “so?” and then I jumped on him, hornier than ever.
If the thought of this conversation is something that makes you nervous, I’d definitely recommend thinking about when you’d rather have it. It might be worth bringing it before your period arrives, so you know where you stand.
Prepare for it, if it helps
Get supplies, create a period sex playlist, make a whole night out of it! In my experience, we get to penetration quicker as there’s essentially extra lube. But it’s important to remember, penetration isn’t everything and doesn’t have to be your end goal. I just really like being penetrated on my period…
No but really, period sex doesn’t even require that much preparation. It’s only if you want to avoid mess really. My top tips include: putting down a towel beforehand, using condoms or just opting for shower sex (note: don’t use condoms here!). I also make a point of washing any sex toys as soon as we’ve finished, dried blood is a bastard to clean!
Plan it, if you want to!
If you’re looking to try period sex, you may want to try to plan it. Start tracking your period–you can use apps like Eve or Clue for this. I’d recommend using Eve because it lets you track a whole range of symptoms and external factors that you may experience during your menstrual cycle–one of which is sex! You can type in when you’ve had and whether it was: solo, condom or ‘banana free’. It also lets you make a note of how good it was, too. The only reason I mention this is because my desires can change at any point during my cycle. This means there are only certain days I’ll actually want to have period sex and I think that’s handy to know.
Whatever you plan to do, stay safe and have fun with it!