Abuse

Why Do They Do That: Love-Bombing Victims into Submission

Why Do They Do That is a series by Kitty Wenham that aims to shine a light on some of the most common tactics used by those who perpetrate abuse. In this article we will explore the theory of love-bombing, popularised in 1995 by psychology professor Margaret Singer. Content warning: …

Why Do They Do That: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim-Offender

  Why Do They Do That is a series by Kitty Wenham that aims to shine a light on some of the most common tactics used by those who perpetrate abuse. In this article we will explore Jennifer Freyd’s theory of Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim-Offender (DARVO). Content warning: This series …

Should We Name and Shame Abusers on Social Media?

A few years ago, my friend’s and I crowded into the toilet cubicle at a pub that we all frequented and wrote a list of names on the wall. Our toilet graffiti was finished with a heading “list of men to avoid” — an idea ripped from the pages of …

The Law is Failing Domestic Abuse Survivors

Trigger Warning: Domestic abuse, violence against women — It didn’t occur to me to go to the police when my boyfriend tore up my favourite dress in front of me. It didn’t occur to me to go to the police when he locked me in the house and confiscated my …

Stop Making Me Relive My Sexual Assault

Trigger warning: Abuse, assault, rape, rape threats and alluding to Harvey Weinstein and the Twitter situation. — Friends, I’m exhausted. I’m emotionally exhausted from reliving my trauma every day on social media. I’m exhausted on behalf of all women and non binary folks that have to constantly share their stories …

Allies Are The Reason I Can’t Escape Transphobia

When I realised I was transgender, I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to transition or not. I was petrified. Any discussion I saw about transgender people was always interrupted with passionate hate and flippant mockery. Meanwhile, news stories of harassment and violence were everywhere, and I was terrified. Was this …

Kesha’s New Single is Heartbreakingly Beautiful

I almost cried with joy when I saw Kesha’s tweet announcing that her new single was dropping today (6 July). That might seem like a bit of an over reaction, but when you consider everything she’s been through in the last four years it’s understandable how overcome with emotion her fans …